why have I deleted most of my blogs?

For the people who dont know me, I have a fucked up past. And I have been blogging my shit since the days of My Space. It was my only escape of being able to freely speak about what I was living through. Then i found my husband and for the last 10 years my life has been peaceful and fulfilling (for the most part, shit we all have trails and tribulations). I mean, I'm in the process of buying my first home and I've been in college then university for the last 5 years (I want to be a writer), legit my life is good. But for the past 5 years I have been finding my old writings and deleting that shit. I experienced some fucked up shit and my writings were just ramblings of a very lost and scared kid and then woman. But the one thing I have always had... my books. My Nana, that's what she did all day... if she wasnt taking care of me or the house she had a book in her hand with a cigarette in the other. I loved that women with all my heart and she passed the thing she loved down to me. It didnt matter what kind of book it was or the author, if I was in to it she would get me a copy. By the time I was in the 6th grade i had fully grown into and was absorbed by authors/stories. My favorite was Anne Rice, and now that I'm 35 thinking back to an 11 year old reading that, maybe questionable.. but it was those stories that allowed me to escape into other worlds and for that I will always be forever grateful. So now that I am starting yet another chapter in my life, I want to share the things I love and maybe a little of the past. Either way, it's going to be one hell of a ride.